Power of One Thing: How to Intentionally Change your Life by Randy Carlson

ONE THING
The Enemies of Change: Discouragement, Anxiety, Distruptions, Waiting
Where to Start?

1. 1. State the problem clearly, or you might end up working on the wrong problem.
   1. a. Make the problem clear.
   2. b. Understand the cost.
   3. c. Do a reality check.
   4. 2. Face your problem squarely and commit to making the necessary changes. Information+Insight+Action=Intentional_Living
   5. 3. Create a list of all of the “one things” necessary to get you to your goal.
   6. 4. Begin by doing the first thing on your list!
   7. 5. Review and revise your list as you go along.

Nine Roadblocks:

1. 1. Your thinking
   1. a. Test each negative thought you catch yourself dwelling on. Don’t accept it before asking yourself, Is this truth? Will it take me in the right direction?
   2. b. List the most important issues and areas of your life on a personalized “thinking list.”

i. Create your own thinking list. Determine priorities. List topics that represent the deepest concerns of your life. What matters most to you? Are there things you would think about if you had time? Are there issues you simply avoid thinking about because they are too painful or you feel hopeless about them? Also, consider these self-assessment questions:

1. 1. How do my childhood memories affect my life today, and what will I do to grow beyond them?
2. 2. What concerns me most about the direction of my life, and what needs to change?
3. 3. What are my intentions for the future? Where would I like to be in five years? Ten years?
4. 4. What legacy will I leave? Am I headed in that direction now?

ii. Capture your thoughts for personal growth. Journal.

1. 1. What matters most to me
2. 2. Things I need to think about when I have time
3. 3. Issues I avoid thinking about
4. 4. Keep a gratitude journal in which you list at least one blessing every day.

iii. Schedule time to think every day.
iv. Take control of your thinking. Ask, “Am I dwelling on the problem, or am I working on a solution?

1. 2. Your attitude
   1. a. Identify your triggers.
   2. b. Consider your lens and ask these questions:

i. Am I better at finding what is right or what is wrong in most circumstances?
ii. Do I look forward to the future?
iii. Am I happy about the success of others?
iv. Am I better at anticipating problems or successes?
v. Do I notice something good about nearly every day?
vi. Am I more likely to point out a positive trait or a mistake or a flaw in the people around me?

1. c. Expectations – Reality = Disappointment
2. 3. Your emotions
   1. a. Exercise regularly to release emotions through physical activity.
   2. b. Consider restarting an activity you loved doing as a kid.
   3. c. People who are emotionally intelligent:

i. Are self-aware
ii. Manage their moods
iii. Know how to self-motivate
iv. Are able to read people
v. Can manage relationships

1. d. One small thing to begin changing your life

i. Write down one emotion that you seem to experience more often than you’d like. Is it anger, sadness, despair?
ii. The last time you experienced this emotion, how did you handle it? Describe/write about it. Was I pleased with the way I handled it? What could I do differently?
iii. Do you intend to go for instant gratification? Come up with a strategy to resist it and PLAN for it.
iv. Rewrite the script for the last time you experienced an emotion you struggle with. What would it look like if you handled it the way you wanted it?
v. Break down the successful picture you just created into small steps and write them down. (See example on p. 79)
vi. Review the steps often and keep the paper with you in a pocket or wallet. Try to practice the successful scenario you envisioned the next time you feel stressed and angry.

1. 4. Your words
   1. a. Watch your words, they become…actions, habits, character, destiny!
   2. b. Give away at least one sincere compliment every day.
   3. c. Make time to talk with my wife one-on-one at least a few minutes every day.
   4. d. Don’t assume you have to take hurtful words to heart. Remember that words spoken by someone who is tired or in a hurry often come across differently than the speaker intended.
   5. e. Before correcting or confronting someone about his/her behavior or attitude, ask yourself, Is this the right time and place to discuss this? Then ask, How can I say this so it builds this person up rather than tearing him/her down?
   6. 5. The use of your time (aka Quadrant II)
      1. a. When blocking out time for the priorities on your daily schedule, build in an extra thirty minutes for the most important tasks. Most projects take longer than anticipated.
      2. b. View your calendar as an autobiography.
      3. c. How to waste time

i. Perfectionism causes procrastination
ii. Staying busy doing the wrong things
iii. Thinking too much about other people
iv. Worrying
v. Oversleeping
vi. Searching for lost items
vii. Being indecisive

1. d. First thing each day, decide one the single most important thing you must do-whether a phone call, a bill to pay or a job application to submit. At the first opportunity, do it!
2. e. Journal your worries.
3. f. Don’t spend your time; invest your time.
4. g. Schedule your most important tasks at the time of day when you have the most energy and think the clearest.
5. h. Schedule each hour tomorrow in advance (including fun time).
6. i. Identify which events or activities in my past produce little value. Learn from this.
7. j. Look ahead on my calendar and write down all the “main thing dates” for the next 12 months. A year from now, what events or activities would you like to see on your calendar? What main things on your calendar would indicate that you had used your time wisely and accomplished what’s most important to you?
8. 6. Your friends
9. 7. Your clutter
   1. a. Clutter in our lives diverts us from our priorities.
   2. b. How does clutter accumulate?

i. You are overwhelmed
ii. You don’t know where to start
iii. You have grown accustomed to the clutter
iv. You fear change
v. You need to control things, people and outcomes.
vi. You feel like you are competing.
vii. You let what is urgent get in the way of what is important.

1. c. It’s often easier to deal with the visible clutter in our garages or our homes than the invisible clutter buried within us.
2. d. Physical Clutter
3. e. Mental Clutter - Keep an “external hard drive” for you mind to capture distracting but important thoughts.
4. f. Emotional Clutter
5. g. Relationship Clutter
6. 8. The questions you ask
7. 9. The decisions you make

A DREAM WORTH PURSUING